Monday, November 30, 2009

Not Me Monday DSS Office Edition

I did not overhear the following things in the DSS office....

"I told him just to put a bullet in her. Just shot her and be done with it" Man did not say to mother. Mother did not reply to son "Now that is just silly. It is not like we live anywhere where he can just go out in the woods and bury her!"

Mother did not suggest to son that he should get a public defender after she was horrified to find out that he might be put in jail on his birthday, "Don't they know it is your birthday?? That is just wrong, I tell ya!" To which he did not reply, "S#!t, I don't need no public defender! I can represent myself better than one of them public defenders! They're stupid." (I bet he forgot they weren't the ones getting ready to spend their birthday in jail)

Man on the phone did not say, "Well, I am not trying to go there around those types of people! What? You think I want to get the wise flu? I ain't gonna get the wise flu!"

Couple to each other, "What you gonna do? Hit me with your cane? I will f*@#ng hit you with something." (Man with cane mumbles something) "Well, you can curse at your children and your woman but you ain't gonna curse at me you s%$t!" "Leave my woman out of this!" (As this loud exchange is going on those of us in the room did not start to giggle....okay, so we did not start laughing to which she says...) "Well, I ain't sure what they're laughing at, we gots freedom to speech, freedom to speak whatever we want!" (To which the gentleman afraid of catching the "wise" flu did not reply) "And we gots the freedom to laugh at you!"

The couple then did not gather their things and huff toward the door passing the man afraid of the wise flu and the woman did not say, "Trash!" to which he did not replay, "Trash? She did not just call me trash, did she?" To which the man did not say, "Yes, she did and we....we are...going outside!".

The room did not erupt with laughter again at this or the woman who said, "Oh, okay, man with a cane threatens that he is going outside! Keep on walking!"

Catch more NMM posts over at MckMama's blog! And visit my friend, GG over at her blog, too.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Not Me Monday After A HellaWeek Edition

I did not drink Diet Coke directly from the 2 liter bottle in front of my husband because that would drive him insane.

I did not agree to the 14 year old staying home from school for no other reason than tiredness. I was not tempted to make up some out of the world excuse for his absentee note because "Please excuse C from school as he was tired" sounded kind of lame.

I did not start to sweat and have a mini panic attack while reading someone else's NMM post when she wrote about getting stuck in traffic in a tunnel.

I did not Twitter that I was in the Top 5 McLinky posts on MckMama's NMM Monday post because I was giddy about making the Top 5 last week.

I did not cry more in the last week than I have in the last 7 years.

I did not comment "I am more comfortable dancing with a pole in the room" when some young men from church and Rick were discussing why I was not dancing more at the Leadership Banquet.

I did not almost consider not posting NMM posts anymore because of one person's opinion of NMM posts. I did not want to tell the opinionated person to just stop reading my blog if they didn't care for my NMM posts. I did not refrain from saying what I really wanted to say because aforementioned person is family and I did not want to deal with any backlash from stating my opinion.

Check out MckMama's post and link your NMM entry to hers so you can share the NMM Love!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Stay Tuned

I am sure you all wait with baited breath for my next riveting blog entry, so I wanted you to know I have a few entries up my sleeve. One of which involves a declaration of freedoms and a man with the fear of getting the "wise flu".

And I have report card information to share as well.

But, alas, it is naptime now and my bed beckons me.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Not Me Monday 2 For 1 Edition

So, I missed NMM last week, because I was unplugged from blogging, Facebook and Twitter for a week. But, never fear, I posted things today from last week and this past week, so you really didn't miss much.

And she's back from Boston with her miracle baby, the NMM originator herself. Check out her blog and my other lovely friends to see what they didn't do last week, too.


I did not stay up until 3 AM on Saturday while at the Ladies Lock In and have to take a nap and go to bed early on Saturday and take a nap on Sunday to try and recover.

I did not eat buffalo chicken dip for breakfast and lunch several days in a row.

I did not tell my husband I was praying for the 14 year old's team to lose their playoff game on Saturday so there would be no more practices for him to attend. They did not then win their game 27-0.

I did not eat cantaloupe on Saturday morning while at breakfast with the LHC ladies because I wanted to prove to a friend that my fruit cup could counteract the Grand Slamwich calories I was partaking of even though I HATE cantaloupe.

I did not tell another friend that I could take above mentioned friend when she asked if I was still going to order the Slamwich even though the above mentioned friend had advised against it.


I did not stay in bed on Tuesday until the kiddos came home at 3:30 PM from school.

I did not blast my husband after he did not clean up from dinner on Sunday night after he had cleaned the house the day before with the kiddos while I was at a Ladies' activity.

I did not not wash my clothes with the 14 year old's because his football gear was in that particular load and it smelled awful!

I did not tell the 5 year old that I would throw his McDonald's toy out the window if he didn't stop whining about wanting to switch it. I was not the one who told him the night before that we would switch it.

I did not flip the plate I was holding with pie on it out of my hand immediately after a young man next to me flipped his cup out of his hand and spilled apple cider on himself.

I did not get ready to ask the 14 year old to take something back to the cleaning supply closet at church because I was too lazy to do it myself. I did not then let my friend, V take it back for me instead.

And finally, I did not tell my husband that he drives me crazy when he tries to help me while I am on the computer and then ask him to leave the room to then call him back into the room to help me do something on the computer.

ETA: I can NOT believe that I am in the top five McLinky posts at MckMama's blog!!!

Monday, November 02, 2009

Not Me Monday Croup/Halloween Edition

Not sure if MckMama will be posting this week with sweet Stellan still in the hospital, nor am I sure if my LHC friends with be posting, but I am. It was a week and a half!

I did not drive the 14 year old to school without my license and without wearing a bra.

I did not pick up the 5 and 7 year old from school in my PJ bottoms, tank top and a cardigan.

I did not laugh hysterically when my mom tripped and spilled meatball sauce into the 18 year old girl's shoes.

I did not continue to eat and overeat to myself sick, so I would be able to poop. It did not not work.

I did not drop off the 5 year old's prescription, then go get Mickey D's for lunch and then head back to the pharmacy and sit in the parking lot until his meds were ready.

I did not let the 5 year old nap all three days he was home sick from school, knowing that it would mess up his schedule and kick his butt once he went back to school on Monday.

I did not let the 5 year old attend a party and go trick or treating on Saturday and then not go to church on Sunday because he was sick. I also did not let him attend movie night at church Sunday night.

I did not cry when I opened a card from a friend this week that had a grocery store gift card in it.

I did not enjoy being able to stay home and hand out candy on Halloween while Rick walked the 5 and 7 year old around the neighborhood.

I did not slice off a piece of the dog's ear I was carving for the 5 year old in his pumpkin. Rick did not fix it with a toothpick or two.

I did not make the 5 year old make a caramel apple at the Fall festival at church because I wanted the apple.


I am not sure how it started. I guess maybe it was a genuine illness at first. Then the teenager babysat a little late on a Saturday night. ...