Change is inevitable. It happens when we will it to and when we don't. I have never been a big fan of change, but I was starting to accept it, embrace it even. I was looking forward to some new changes this fall. I had started taking grad classes at a completely different university and said goodbye to a school and coworkers that had become family with no certainty of where I would be next year and as a special educator, nonetheless. And even though one of those things would normally send me into an anxious fit, I was enjoying meeting new people, learning new things and being challenged. I was a bit stressed about a math test I was having a hard time passing, but other than that, I was excited about all the changes.
And then things changed. Well, not really I guess, but things I thought were in the past had an effect on the present and caused things to change. I had told myself that in the beginning of being accepted into the RTC/MAACP that it was too good to be true, that I felt like I was holding my breath, waiting for someone to pull back the proverbial curtain on my undergrad degree. I had prayed before even submitting my paperwork, that if it was not going to work out, let it be a no from the start. Then I got the call for the interview. And I prayed that if it wasn't going to work out, let it be a no from that point. Then I got the acceptance letter. And I prayed that if it wasn't going to work out...but, it was, so I was going to be optimistic and thankful and in awe of what God was doing after years of rejection and I signed the paperwork, accepted the job offer and dove into the grad course. And with one phone call, it all changed and the rejection was back.
Once again, my undergrad degree from an unaccredited university has hindered me from moving forward in what I feel is the area of education that God would have me be a part of right now. And for the last 6 years. As I started to seek reentering the field of education I was not embraced by the Christian school/private school realm, but was accepted into public education. When the door seemed to be closed for public school, it was suddenly reopened and has been a blessing to my family and me ever since 2010. I would never be opposed to teaching in the private school sector again, but all the doors of opportunity for me in that regard were shut. And I accepted that. And even though, there were a few certification obstacles in public education, I was doing a job I loved. But, I was willing to try for more. Even though it would be outside of my comfort zone, I felt a tugging.
And I let my heart hope and be hopeful in what God was doing and could do.
I am disappointed that I can no longer be a part of the cohort that would have allowed me to obtain dual certification, a special educator position in the fall and a master's degree in special education, so that my hard work and dedication could never again be questioned. Or rejected. But, for now, it is not to be. So, I will grieve a bit and then move on, once again striving to get someone to accept my four years of hard earned work and degree, so that I can take the next step in my career.