I did not have a conversation with my 5 year old son about menstruation.
I did not let that same 5 year old eat at a restaurant without shoes on.
I did not drop pieces of bacon into my camisole while eating a BLT, causing a grease stain to show through it at church to then go to the bathroom and have more bacon fall out of my capris as I pulled them down to go to the bathroom.
I did not need my husband to hook the straps on my sandals for me.
I did not (again) use the promise of sexual favors to get my husband to help me with my domestic duties. It did not (again) work like a charm ;)
I did not contemplate using hot dog rolls as a substitute for bread today, thinking about toasting them, smearing them with butter and dusting them with garlic salt to have with spaghetti.
I did not drink a Starbuck*s Double Shot when I am not supposed to have any caffeine.
I did not skip a mandatory meeting just because I did not feel like going.
I did not wait until Sunday night to ask my husband to go to the store to get things for the kiddos' lunches.
I did not mistake my father-in-law for my pastor when he called for Rick.
I did not get all excited when I saw a commercial for the new season of Heroes.
I did not take a cup of coffee and a container of yogurt into the sanctuary at church when there is a clear sign that states "Bottled Water ONLY!" on the door.
And finally I did not get all puffed up and proud when I remembered to set the coffee maker to brew at 8 AM only to wake and find that I set it to brew at 8 PM, not AM.
Check out MckMama's Not Me Monday post and Carlton's. Apparently, he even posted before me ;)