Beloved

It took me some time to realize that I was fully and completely loved. I remember thinking he loved me, or maybe he did, but it wasn't until I was able to be totally honest with someone, tell him everything, even the secret things, that I knew that I was loved. Unconditionally.

Many years later, I would again struggle with being loved. but, this time I was struggling with knowing without a bit of doubt that my Savior loved me. I mean, I read about His unfailing love and I knew and believe that His Word was true, but I wasn't sure it was true for me.

My sister encouraged me to look at myself in the mirror every day and say aloud, "God loves me. I am His beloved." And I tried and I wanted to believe it, to believe her, to believe Him, but it was hard.

Especially on the days that I felt so unlovable  The screaming at the children, the unkempt house, the mean comment to my husband. How could anyone love me?

My sister than asked me to do something else. To imagine God, and imagine myself climbing into His lap and letting Him put my arms around me. so, I closed my eyes and I could see Him and feel His arms around me.

For me, when I imagined an image of God in my mind, it was my grandfather in his favorite chair and he was smiling, allowing me to climb onto his lap and rest in his embrace.

I knew once again that I am indeed loved.

I am on of His beloved. And it is comforting.

 

Five Minute Friday - Afraid

Not sure what to write about, but want to update your blog? Try your creative hand at Five Minute Fridays. Join hundreds of other women taking five minutes to write on a specific topic for just five minutes, no editing and no pressure! It really has helped me spread my blogging and writing wings!

Afraid

I remember being so afraid of the dark when I was younger. My parents wouldn't let me have a night light in my room because I shared it with my two sisters and they were not afraid of the dark. So, my mom would leave the bathroom light on and I would stare into the hallway until I fell asleep. My younger sister was afraid of thunderstorms and during them I would dangle my hand down off the side of the bunk bed and hold her hand until she fell asleep. It was always comforting to know that I was able to comfort her. It made me less afraid of the dark and stormy nights.

I grew out of being afraid of the dark and my sister grew to love thunderstorms, but now I am afraid of darker places and different kinds of storms.

I long for the days of sharing a room with my sisters with my parents just down the hall and the hallway being lit by the glow from the bathroom. And what I wouldn't do to hold my sister's hand through some of the recent trials of my life. Why did I ever wish those times away?

But, I do have someone else to Light my way and hold my hand. And He does. I just have to trust Him.

Slacker

I am such a bad blogger. I am on the internet every day, sometimes several times a day and I rarely blog. I have been trying to at least post a Five Minute Friday entry every week, but I have really been slacking on updating the blog with family stuff. The last time I posted was in November and it was an entry on Halloween.

So, here's what's been happening in the Hall Household since then.....

Cody joined the Marines at the end of November. He was sworn in on November 29 and will leave for boot camp on August 4th. He goes to PT three times a week and has to gain 20 pounds before his ship date. He just turned 18 last Saturday and will graduate on June 4th. He is also hoping to move in with a friend soon to be able to have his own room and space before he heads to Paris Island. So, he will be going to school, working, doing PT and that's about it. He  is also hoping to get driving school out of the way before he goes to SC.

Kari is obsessed with the band, One Direction. Everything on her Christmas list involved the band or one of the members. She just found out she is eligible for both magnet programs she interviewed for in the fall. There is an electronic lottery that determines who is chosen and she is praying she gets into the Performing and Visual Arts school. She will also be performing in the Orchestra Concert open to 4th and 5th grades, middle schoolers and high schools in her feeder system. This will be her second year to perform. She is also going to try out for a solo in the spring chorus concert at her school. She still enjoys being a safety at school and has been going to Zumba with me on Tuesdays.

Noah is continues to entertain us with his singing and dancing. He enjoys playing video games on his PSVita and drawing. He is constantly creating pictures and comic books and loves to read chapter books and his gamer and Boy Scout magazines. He is still in Scouts and his a Bear Cub this year. He is getting ready to have his Blue and Gold Banquet and compete in the Pinewood Derby.

Rick is still at the middle school and enjoys the students he works with every day. He is great at what he does and is respected by the students and his colleagues. He is eager to finish this semester and looking forward to student teaching in the fall. He continues to be a TD for WTP and enjoys playing poker and meeting new people. He also enjoys hosting home games once in a while.

I was just offered a teacher's assistant position as my school and am now working primarily with the fourth grade classes and teachers. There is another TA and she is awesome to work with and very helpful as I am learning the ropes. It has allowed me to obtain a permanent position with the county and secures me a position for next year as well. I am getting ready to start my second class to fulfill my certificate requirements and will be taking the Praxis II series of tests next month. I am waiting to hear from the MD Dept. of Education regarding my appeal, but am hopeful that they will accept it and that I will have my certificate before the end of the summer.  

I am also continuing to enjoy Kaysen and Kiyah . We wet to keep them overnight once a month and it is really a joy to see them growing and changing. Kaysen will be 3 in May and Kiyah is 9 months old. We were able to have them for Christmas Eve and it was so neat to see the season through their eyes. I love being a grandmother!

We have started renovating a few rooms in the house and are just about done with the living room. It is just a transformation, but I love it! I can not wait to get started on the dining room and do some upgrades in the kitchen as well.      

I have class at 8:30 AM tomorrow, so I need to get to bed. I will post some pictures this weekend and hope to get my FMF post up before midnight. I am going to finish my HW and then write it. Maybe I will need to write "blogging" into my weekly schedule ;)