She is very weak and disoriented. She said she hates feeling old and that she is losing her independence. I had to cut her nails for her yesterday and Mom has had to fix all of her meals and administer her medicine. Mom called her last night at 11 PM so she could take her pill and she answered the phone and then left it off the hook. Rick and Mom headed over to make sure everything was okay. She had just fallen back to sleep. She should probably be in a nursing home so she can gain her strength back and do some rehabilitation, but she doesn't want to go. I think she is afraid that if she does, she will never come home.
I am not sure how to pray anymore. It seems she has given up and accepted that the cancer is taking its toll. It is very hard to see her so thin and helpless.
But, I guess we just trust God and take advantage of the time we do have with her.
I am still not ready to let her go. Even if it may be best.